Challenging Myths: Exploring Common Objections to Same-Sex Attraction

"The only way in which a human being can make some approach to knowing the whole of a subject, is by hearing what can be said about it by persons of every variety of opinion, and studying all modes in which it can be looked at by every character of mind. No wise man ever acquired his wisdom in any mode but this." - John Stuart Mill

 

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Consensual Same-Sex Relationships

 

Is being same-sex attracted unnatural, disgusting, or harmful? Does the Bible condemn same-sex relationships? Are people born gay, and should it matter either way?

 

Throughout their lives, many gay, lesbian, and bisexual people are confronted with unfavourable opinions and negative attitudes towards same-sex relationships. These views can cause significant hardship, including a lifetime of discrimination, rejection, and social stigma. Consequently, some gay, lesbian, and bisexual people become estranged from family and friends. 

 

Furthermore, constant exposure to negative messages about same-sex attraction may lead individuals to involuntarily internalise and accept these views as true. These negative self-beliefs can have a devastating impact on a person's self-worth, mental health, and overall wellbeing.

 

Dr John Corvino, a writer, speaker, and professor of philosophy at Wayne State University in Detroit, USA, offers a number of compelling arguments addressing common objections to same-sex relationships, including objections based on religion, nature, and harm. 

 

LGBTI people, as well as supportive heterosexual people, may find it helpful to familiarise themselves with these progressive and thought-provoking arguments when confronted with the negative attitudes and misconceptions that continue to surround same-sex attraction and relationships.

 

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Addressing the Common Objections to Same-Sex Attraction

 

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Religion

 

"The Bible condemns homosexuality."

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The Book of Leviticus indeed says, "Man shall not lie with man, as with woman. It is an abomination unto God." Interestingly, Leviticus also describes several other practices as abominations that Christians generally do not regard as morally wrong today:

• Eating shellfish

• Wearing clothing made from mixed fibres

• Touching the carcass of a dead pig

 

More troublingly, Leviticus 25:44–46 explicitly permits the ownership of slaves, stating that slaves "may be your property" and may be passed on to one's children as an inheritance.

 

Similar passages are also found outside the Old Testament. St Paul instructs women to remain silent in church and tells slaves to obey their earthly masters. The New Testament also describes divorce and remarriage as adultery, while the Old Testament prescribes death as the punishment for adultery.

 

So, what is a believer to make of these passages?

 

Perhaps the Bible can be wrong about some things without God being wrong. Human beings may simply have been mistaken in their understanding of God's word. We should not confuse complete faith in God with complete faith in our ability to interpret God's voice.

 

History also reminds us to be cautious of those who claim certainty about what God wants. If the cultural prejudices and limitations of biblical authors influenced what was written about slavery, is it not possible that they also influenced what was written about same-sex relationships?

 

The question, therefore, is not simply whether the Bible contains passages condemning homosexuality, but whether those passages should be understood as the timeless word of God or as writings shaped, at least in part, by the cultural assumptions of their authors.

 

Nature

 

"Homosexuality is not practised by other animals."

 

This isn't true. Same-sex sexual behaviour has been observed in hundreds of animal species, including vertebrates, and some animals even form same-sex pair bonds. However, even if it were true, animals don't wear clothes, brush their teeth, or undergo surgery. We therefore shouldn't take our cues about how to live from animals.

 

"Homosexuality is unnatural."

 

What might people mean when they say this? One possibility is that they mean homosexuality is statistically uncommon because most people are heterosexual. Well, that's true: most people don't engage in same-sex relationships. But most people don't play the mandolin, pilot planes, or read Sanskrit either. The fact that most people don't do something doesn't make it wrong. So, statistical rarity doesn't seem to be morally relevant.

 

"Homosexuality is a choice which opposes natural desires."

 

How many of us choose our sexual feelings?

 

Ask yourself whether you've ever been attracted to someone you wished you weren't attracted to. Perhaps the person was already in a relationship. Perhaps you were already in a relationship. Perhaps the person simply didn't like you. Most of us have experienced situations in which we've had feelings for someone and wished we could get rid of them. We can't.

 

The opposite can also happen: we don't have romantic or sexual feelings for someone and wish we did. So-and-so is nice, we have great conversations, and yet the spark just isn't there.

 

We don't have direct control over our feelings. If we can't simply choose whom we're attracted to as individuals, why would we assume that people can choose whether they are attracted to men or women in general? And why would anyone choose a sexual orientation that exposes them to stigma and discrimination?

 

"Homosexuality violates the natural function of the sex organs."

 

Many parts of the body can be used in ways that go beyond their primary biological function. For example, the nose isn't designed to hold up reading glasses, but it isn't immoral to use it for that purpose.

 

What about the sexual organs? Obviously, one function of the sexual organs is procreation. Nobody denies this basic biological fact. But is procreation their only legitimate purpose?

 

Heterosexual people often have sex even when they don't want children, don't want children yet, don't want any more children, or cannot have children. Why? Because sex can serve other purposes, including expressing love, giving and receiving pleasure, and strengthening an intimate relationship.

 

Regarding specific sexual acts, it is also important to remember that not all homosexual people engage in anal sex, and some heterosexual people do. Furthermore, both heterosexual and homosexual people may engage in oral sex. Therefore, arguments about the “natural function” of particular sexual organs do not, by themselves, establish that same-sex relationships are immoral.

 

Harm

 

"Homosexuality is disgusting."

 

Many things that people find disgusting are not considered immoral, such as eating snails, performing autopsies, or cleaning toilets. Disgust alone is therefore not sufficient to label something immoral. At most, it provides grounds for an aesthetic judgement, not a moral one.

 

"Homosexuality exposes you to the risk of contracting AIDS."

 

HIV causes AIDS, and HIV can be transmitted through both homosexual and heterosexual sexual activity, as well as through some forms of non-sexual exposure. Furthermore, if the risk of HIV transmission were somehow a measure of morality, lesbians would be among the most moral people in the world because the risk of HIV transmission through sex between women is very low.

 

"Homosexual people lead miserable and unhappy lives."

 

Research does indicate higher rates of depression and suicidal thoughts among lesbian, gay, and bisexual people. However, substantial evidence suggests that these poorer mental-health outcomes are largely associated with stigma, discrimination, rejection, and other forms of social adversity rather than sexual orientation itself.

 

"Homosexual relationships are less rewarding than heterosexual relationships."

 

There is no evidence that same-sex relationships are inherently less rewarding than heterosexual ones. Same-sex attracted people can experience love, intimacy, companionship, sexual pleasure, and long-term fulfilment just as heterosexual people do.

 

"Exposing children to homosexuals increases the likelihood that they will become homosexual."

 

This argument doesn't make sense. Children are overwhelmingly exposed to heterosexual people, yet this does not cause them all to become heterosexual. Similarly, there is no evidence that exposure to gay or lesbian people causes children to become gay or lesbian.

 

"Gay men are more likely to be paedophiles."

 

This claim is not supported by the evidence. Sexual orientation and paedophilic attraction are separate concepts, and there is no basis for assuming that gay men are inherently more likely to sexually abuse children.

 

Interestingly, when a heterosexual person commits a terrible act, such as sexually abusing a child, we do not generally regard that behaviour as reflecting on heterosexual people as a group. Why, then, should the actions of an individual gay man be treated as evidence about gay men as a group?

 

"Homosexuality is a threat to traditional heterosexual marriage."

 

Do we honestly believe that supporting gay and lesbian people in their relationships will cause heterosexual people to stop forming relationships and somehow become gay?

 

Furthermore, forcing gay people into heterosexual marriages that they are not suited for can be damaging to them, their spouses, and their children. Allowing people to form relationships with partners to whom they are genuinely attracted may instead support healthier and more fulfilling families.

 

"Homosexuality harms society by diminishing the rate of procreation."

 

So does celibacy, but nobody seems to think that being a priest is immoral. This argument also appears illogical in an overpopulated world. Society only needs some and not all people to procreate.

 

"Homosexual activity is all about perverted sex."

 

When we think about homosexuality, we often focus disproportionately on the sexual aspect. But same-sex relationships, like heterosexual relationships, can involve dating, holding hands, romantic dinners, affection, companionship, caring for one another, and long-term emotional fulfilment.

 

Reducing homosexuality to sexual activity overlooks the fundamental reality that gay and lesbian people can form loving, committed, and meaningful relationships just like heterosexual people.

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Additional Articles About Sexuality

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Find out more about a range of sexual orientation issues and how talking to a gay therapist who specialises in sexuality issues can help:

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• Bisexuality: A Guide for Navigating Your Journey

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• Navigating Your LGBTQ Coming out Journey

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• Navigating Life as a Gay Individual: Challenges, Relationships, Mental Health & Support

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Gay Counselling in Perth

 

I hope you find some of these thoughtful perspectives helpful when encountering harmful or negative views about same-sex attracted people. If you are experiencing concerns related to your sexual orientation or seeking support in managing these challenges, I encourage you to reach out to schedule an appointment.

 

As an experienced gay counsellor in Perth, I am committed to providing a warm, respectful, and non-judgemental environment where you can speak openly about your experiences. Together, we can develop a deeper understanding of your concerns and identify effective strategies to support your wellbeing. Your journey matters, and I am here to support you every step of the way.