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William Macaulay Counselling Perth

Author: William Macaulay, Anger Management Counsellor & Psychotherapist Perth

Phone 0401 316 977

for enquiries or appointments

Understanding Anger: Healthy Anger vs Destructive Anger

Man sitting on a chair looking frustrated_.jpg

Anger is a natural emotional response that often arises from frustration, perceived injustice, disrespect, threat, or feeling ignored or hurt. It may also stem from unmet expectations, chronic stress, relationship conflict, or unresolved emotional experiences.

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When expressed and managed appropriately, anger can be a healthy and useful emotion, helping us recognise boundaries, assert needs, and address problems. However, when anger becomes uncontrolled or destructive, it can negatively impact relationships, work performance, physical health, and emotional wellbeing. Over time, persistent anger may also contribute to substance use, aggressive behaviour, or legal difficulties.

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What Does Healthy Anger Look Like?

 

Healthy anger is assertive rather than aggressive. In my anger management counselling, clients learn constructive ways to express anger that support self-respect and positive relationships.

 

Healthy anger may involve:

  • Clearly and calmly communicating your needs

  • Understanding that assertiveness does not mean being pushy or demanding

  • Respecting both yourself and others

  • Expressing emotions without aggression, threats, or intimidation

  • Experiencing anger that is proportionate, infrequent, and short-lived

  • Having the ability to self-soothe and calm down

 

When anger is managed well, it becomes a signal for change rather than a source of harm.

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When Does Anger Become Destructive?

 

Anger becomes problematic when it leads to behaviours or words that damage your wellbeing or relationships.

 

Signs of unmanaged or destructive anger may include:

  • Rapid escalation of anger within seconds

  • Verbal, emotional, or physical aggression when angry

  • Feeling angry most of the time

  • Receiving frequent feedback from others about your anger

  • Ongoing difficulties in work or personal relationships

  • Using anger as the primary way to get your needs met

  • Anger that lingers and is difficult to let go of

  • A desire to dominate, control, or intimidate others

  • Holding grudges or planning revenge

  • Feeling anxious, ashamed, or depressed about your anger

  • Using alcohol or drugs to cope with angry feelings

  • Suppressing anger until it eventually explodes

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Anger Management Counselling Perth

 

Learning to express anger in healthy ways takes practice, but it is a skill that can significantly improve your relationships, emotional wellbeing, and sense of control. With the proper support, anger can become an opportunity for insight, growth, and stronger connections.

 

If you’re finding it difficult to manage your anger, I encourage you to reach out and book an appointment. Through anger management counselling in Perth, we’ll explore the underlying causes of your anger and develop practical strategies to help you respond more calmly and constructively in challenging situations.

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Contact William Macaulay Counselling Perth today to take the first step towards a healthier relationship with anger.

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