Recognising coercive control can be challenging because it often involves behaviours that, on their own, might not seem abusive. However, when these behaviours form a consistent pattern, they become a powerful tool for manipulation and control. Here are some common signs of coercive control:

​

Isolation: The abuser may systematically isolate the victim from friends, family, and support networks. They might discourage or forbid contact with others, creating a dependency on the abuser for emotional and social needs.

 

Monitoring and Surveillance: Constant monitoring of the victim's activities, whereabouts, communications, and even social media interactions is a key tactic. This can include checking phone messages, tracking their location, or installing surveillance devices in the home.

 

Emotional and Psychological Abuse: The abuser may use tactics such as gaslighting (making the victim doubt their own perceptions), humiliation, threats, and verbal abuse to undermine the victim's confidence and self-worth.

 

Financial Control: Controlling the victim's access to money is a common method of coercive control. The abuser might restrict access to bank accounts, monitor spending, or prevent the victim from working, creating financial dependency.

 

Manipulation of Children: In relationships where children are involved, the abuser may use them as tools of control. This can include manipulating the children against the victim, threatening to take them away, or using custody as leverage.

 

Sexual Coercion: Coercive control can also extend to sexual behaviour. The abuser may force the victim into unwanted sexual acts, withhold sex as a form of punishment, or use sex as a means of control.

 

Threats and Intimidation: Threats of harm, either to the victim, their loved ones, or even pets, are common in coercive control. These threats may not be direct but implied, creating a constant atmosphere of fear.

 

Enforcing Trivial Demands: The abuser might impose rules or demands that are unreasonable or trivial, yet strict compliance is expected. This could include dictating how the victim dresses, behaves or even eats.

​