William Macaulay

Anger Management Counsellor & Psychotherapist

Perth, Western Australia

Phone 0401 316 977

for enquiries or appointments

Anger Management Perth

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Is your anger causing distress to you or others around you? Do you need help with how to control anger? Conveniently located in Wembley north of the river and Como south of the river, I offer anger management counselling and psychotherapy services to people who struggle with controlling anger. If you are concerned about any aspect of managing your anger, please contact me to arrange an appointment. Learning how to manage your anger constructively can significantly improve your self-confidence, bring harmony to relationships and increase personal happiness.

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Understanding Anger

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Anger is often associated with frustration and usually develops in response to the unwanted actions of another person who is perceived to be disrespectful, demeaning, threatening or neglectful. It may also arise when things don’t happen the way we want. It may be a response to perceived injustice or unfairness or caused by excessive worrying about personal problems. It is also a response to being hurt.

 

Anger is a natural and usually healthy human emotion when expressed and managed in a way that acknowledges the feeling while not harming others. It may vary in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. Expressing anger in an uncontrolled and destructive manner may significantly damage an individual’s personal and work relationships, physical health, and emotional wellbeing. Uncontrolled anger can also lead to drug and alcohol misuse, violent and aggressive behaviour, and sometimes legal repercussions.

 

Healthy Anger

 

Signs of expressing your anger healthily and assertively:

• being clear about what your needs are

• understanding that being assertive does not mean being pushy or demanding

• being respectful of yourself and others

• expressing yourself in a non-aggressive manner

• your anger is mild, infrequent and subsides quickly

• you can calm yourself down

 

Unhealthy Anger

 

Signs of unmanaged or uncontrolled problematic anger:

• your anger involves verbal, emotional or physical abuse

• you feel angry most of the time

• other people comment about your anger

• your anger is causing difficulties with personal and work relationships

• you can only get your needs met by being angry

• your anger does not subside quickly

• you have a desire to dominate or control others

• you hold a grudge and are planning to get even

• you are becoming anxious or depressed about your anger

• you are using alcohol or other drugs in an attempt to manage your anger

• you are suppressing your anger

 

Managing Anger

 

Despite often appearing to be a viable short-term solution to get others to comply with your requests, unmanaged anger will usually create other long-term problems for yourself and others around you. Dealing with problems with angry behaviour may often result in the anger itself becoming the problem. The individual with whom you are angry may feel attacked or belittled and respond to your anger rather than addressing what has initially upset you. Throughout your life, you will, at times, experience frustration, pain, loss and the unpredictable actions of others. You cannot change that, but you can change the way you respond and how you allow such events to affect you.

 

Strategies to Manage Anger

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Anger management is about being aware of the triggers and early warning signs of anger and developing skills to manage your reactions before the situation escalates out of control.

 

Recognising the early warning signs:

• muscular tension

• sensations of heat and flushing in the face

• increased heart rate, breathing or sweating

• headaches

 

Techniques to manage your reactions:

• step away from the situation to give yourself time and space to think clearly and calm down

• practice controlled breathing by slowing and deepening your breath, and focusing on allowing the muscles in your body to relax voluntarily

• talk yourself down by saying things to yourself like, “relax” or ”I’m not going to let this get to me”

• recognise that the situation is merely an unpleasant event and not life-threatening or a major catastrophe

 

Relaxation:

Learning relaxation skills can help you release the physical tension in your body which may be contributing to you experiencing excessive anger. Simple daily relaxation tools may be helpful, such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, mindfulness exercises and non-strenuous exercises like yoga.

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Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for Anger

 

The above strategies to manage anger may help you calm down in a crisis. However, they don’t address the causes of excessive anger. CBT is a highly effective structured psychological treatment which recognises that the way we feel, behave and respond to situations is based on the way we think. CBT involves working with a professional therapist to identify unhelpful thinking patterns that are causing you to become angry. It aims to assist individuals in realising that they can influence their emotions by identifying and changing their thoughts and beliefs. Unhelpful thoughts and beliefs are discovered, challenged and replaced by more helpful and balanced thoughts.

 

The following list of unhelpful thinking patterns may cause excessive anger:

• using negative, overly dramatic, offensive or swear words when thinking about a situation

• exaggerated thinking

• using inaccurate words like “never” or “always”

• failing to apply logic to your thoughts

• failing to accept that some problems may not have a solution

• thoughts that are based on assumptions and not facts

• believing that you do not have the capacity to cope

• neglecting to acknowledge the other person’s needs or perspective

• viewing your own needs as demands, instead of requests or desires

 

Featured Videos About Anger

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Click here to go to a selection of short informative YouTube videos about anger. They also contain several useful tools and techniques to help manage anger.

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Anger Management Support

 

If you are concerned about any aspect of managing your anger or would like to discuss any of the issues raised in this article, please contact me to arrange an appointment. I can help you understand the root causes of your anger by exploring the thoughts, beliefs and behaviours that contribute to it. Together we can work on improving your communication skills as well as developing new coping strategies and tools to help you manage anger-provoking situations.

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